Well I know I've been behind on my writing again. I've been crazy busy with work and my home life. I had my brother's girlfriend and their baby living with me then my pregnant niece and her baby move in too. It was crowded in the Carter house for a while. Now its just Austin, my niece Sierra and my great nephew Amir (well and Isaiah on the way) and me of course living there. I've been working long hours at my job and picked a seasonal flu shot job also but at $20/hr who could resist a little extra Christmas cash. Oh yea and trying to spend time with the man in my life. The guy that i mentioned that I was hesitant to meet in my last post turned out to be a pretty good guy. He has stuck by me with all the craziness at my house and been so supportive. He's been there to talk to when I need to vent, cook me dinner when I'm tired and hungry, and even gives awesome back massages. We have had our ups and downs as all relationships do and I know he's not perfect but I'm pretty happy with where we are at in our relationship. On the whole we are pretty good together. I will try to keep this blog up to date more now that things have settled down. :)

Getting My Feet Wet

Well I'm trying to get out there and get my feet wet. I signed up for a online dating app thru my iPhone. And man has it been interesting. I keep getting "winks" from these messed up looking guys. I'm no prize winning pig but come on guys. These guys are all tatted up or scrawny or short. One guy had that he was 5'10" on his profile and after a week of talking everyday, I decided okay I'll meet in him in a nice public place. He showed up and was only 5'5"(same height as me) and oh yea here's the kicker he proceeded to get hammered. What an asshole!! He hit on the waitress, took like a million calls, and kept saying he wanted to go home with someone anyone. He pulled my hair trying to run his fingers thru it I guess. I so did not want this jerk to touch me. Then I told him to lose my number cause I was deleting him. He still had the nerve to try to kiss me. YUCK!!!! I did also get to be friends with this one guy who seems nice enough. I'm little hesitant to meet up with him after the last jerk but he seems cool with waiting. Most the guys on that app seem to think women are just pieces of meat. I know I work hard on my figure but lets look pass my body and see my mind. I'm trying to find someone who wants more than a one night rodeo and can wait to hop into the physical side of the relationship. I know I will have one good date this week though .... I'm going to see Chris Young with my sister in law Carrie. Woo hoo girls night. Then in 12 days I'll have another good date. % days in KY with my girlie Gretchen. Look out Elizabethtown here we come again. :)

Damn it feels good to be me!

Well I have to say I'm starting to feel good about myself again. I gave myself a mini-makeover this weekend. I went back to wearing my contacts, straightened my hair, and went back to my natural hair color(okay well close its a tad lighter). I didn't think anybody would notice. But I went into work this morning and everyone noticed. I got so many compliments that I might have got a swollen head. Its nice that my outside is reflecting my insides. I feel confident now that I'm becoming more like me again. I'm finally finding out what a strong, independent, amazing woman I truly am. I know that sounds conceited but it really isn't. I know I'm not the hottest thing out there but I'm loving myself. Its nice to like yourself. I can be myself for the first time in a long time without "walking on eggshells" or being looked down on. It helps that I am working in an amazing place with great coworkers that appreciate me. I'm just feeling good in general. And I would have to say Uncle Kracker and Kid Rock are in my most played play list on my IPhone. I would post a picture of myself but I think that would be overboard and I dont have a new one of me on my laptop yet. :)

Confused

I'm a little confused about men these days? Its not a question , I'm just truly confused. When did guys become the ones with the ticking biological clock. I was talking with this guy who seemed perfectly nice and normal . But then BAM the clock started ticking LOUD for him not me. Weird town here we come. He wanted to meet Austin and my family when we hadn't had an official date even. Then he got mad that I was ignoring him on yahoo when actually I just fell asleep. I cant deal with girly guys. I know as a modern woman I'm not supposed to want a man's man but I don't want a chick either. I'm sick of guys who want a commitment so quickly. In my experience the minute they get a commitment then they turn and run. I think I need to go get the magnet that attracts the wrong men demagnetized. Maybe when Gretchen and I go to Kentucky again this year again we can find a good spot to bury the magnet cause she has one too. :)Where are the real men who act like men and not scared little girls?

Loving My Job

I have to say I'm really loving my job. I don't always get along with all my coworkers but for the most part I enjoy them too. There is one nurse that I have a good friendship with almost like siblings. I'm learning a lot from the unit manager and other nurses. Its really a good environment. I'm so much happier there than I was at the last place I worked. Of it might have something to do with the fact that I'm working dementia patients. It seems weird to say I enjoy it but I do. Its not that I enjoy the suffering they go through but its just special to me to be able to work with them. Ever since I was a CENA , I have always found it more rewarding. I still want to become a midwife eventually but for now I will stay with older patients while in school. Its nice coming out of work happy even if its been a rough day. Its nice to be appreciated for my nursing skills and helped to become a stronger nurse. It also helps that I'm back on 1st shift again. :) I love the fact I get home in time to have dinner with my son. It nice to cook real meals again. We are settling into a good routine and life is getting good again. You'd think I was on some really good drugs not just high on life. :) :) :)

New Year New Me...

Wow I can't believe its 2011 already. 2010 came with a lot of unpleasant surprises but it is a new year and a new me. I have a new job that I absolutely love, Austin is getting better about school and off his ADHD medications. Things are looking up again and I thank god for that so much. I'm getting a little stronger everyday. I'm so very grateful for finding myself again and finding out what I'm really made of. I could have curled up into a ball and gave up with everything I've been through this past year but I didn't. Thankfully I found out I'm tougher than I thought. I also have to say a prayer of thanks to god for giving the love and support of my family and friends. Gretchen has been such an amazing friend to me and I'm lucky to have her there no matter what time it is or was. I hope she never needs me there for her cause I don't want her to hurt but if she does I will be right there. I'm starting the new year off on a great foot. Like I said a great job, a great kid and great friends and family. And who knows maybe a new "friend". This new year gives me a chance to become the positive person I once was and want to be again. Its going to be a GREAT year. :)